It's Bigger Than The Car. 
Five words to change how you negotiate life.

by Katie O'Toole Smith, Katie the Car Lady

The power of words is amazing, especially when they are put into action to help you change experiences in your daily life. We have all been negotiating through 2020 with overwhelming feelings, hard conversations, new collaborative relationships, and silver linings. The car buying process can be very similar; 2020 has offered up its challenges for sure. We are in this season of gratitude and there is always something for which to be grateful. These five words: confidence, connection, collaboration, conversation, and consultation can help change any experience in your life; but for sure, when you go to buy or lease your next car. These words are not new, but they can be used in a new way.

CONFIDENCE

Information is power. It also gives you confidence, just as much in life, as in the car buying arena. Know your credit score, budget and limits. You know yourself better than anyone else. Listen to your gut and do not be fooled by ads that promise impossibilities. You do not have to attend every argument you are invited to! Press PAUSE! Always take 24 hours to make a major decision. Confidence can help us use good information to negotiate situations and not let emotions drive poor decisions. Emotions can give me false confidence, and let my ego and pride get in the way of making a good connection or having a productive conversation. Take a breath, walk away or reach out to trusted sources and asking for help will give you confidence and allows you to respond with kindness and surety.

CONNECTION

Connection is important in our daily interactions. We do not connect with everyone and we need to recognize that it is okay. Interview the salesperson you are thinking of working with. Lack of respect; willingness to help; being kind, trustworthy and transparent, allparticipate in connection. We want someone that empowers and educates us. Someone once told me “comparison is the thief of all joy.” I cannot connect with someone I am competing against.

COLLABORATION

It is important to have collaboration so that everyone wins. This does not need to be an archaic and exhausting back and forth process.  You have the ability to empower yourself and control the conversation through connection. Know the questions to ask and be okay with the answer. You can walk away and take a break and not feel guilty at any time. Insert the 24-hour rule reminder here.  Patience with the people around us gives us freedom. Taking 24 hours to make a major decision which can be a financial decision, responding to an email, text or person. Sometimes we stay too long, get over exhausted and then do something we regret!

CONVERSATION

Communication that is transparent. You set the tone. No bullying, pressuring or condescending. Setting smart goals and guidelines is key. Going into the auto finance office is where this will be needed most. This can be related to buying aftermarket products. NO is a complete sentence! Send clear messages of what you need and do not need.  Think of telling your child you are not going to pay their credit card bill anymore. You don't want their credit to get ruined. You consult the "we” and proceed to let them be an adult. You are no longer responsible for the bill or the results. You have to set guidelines and not be selfish. Allow them to grow and have their own life experiences. You have the ability to walk away and say "no" with kindness at any time.

CONSULTATION

You need to have a “we.” These are your advocates, your ride or dies. Self- appraisal can be insufficient because we are on information overload, confusing the documentation, picturing ourselves already driving the car and talking ourselves into something that may not be a fit. Financial adviser, spouse, posse (the group of women around you that will always tell you the truth), family etc. reach out for a second set of eyes that you trust. This is your "we!"

Once we know better, we do better. The power of "we" is an incredible force. This allows us to be grateful for what we have been given, and the ability to recognize what we can change, and what we cannot. Are we building a bridge or a wall to the person we are trying to connect with?  You cannot build a bridge when you are hanging onto a resentment and carrying it into another situation. Now the anger from one affects the next. When you are only thinking of yourself, you have built a wall.  I love that we can change the footprint we leave on any situation just by choosing to use words and turn them into actions which then allow us to have new experiences.

Authored By: Katie O'Toole Smith, (a.k.a. Katie the Car Lady), owner of Katie the Car Lady LLC, being a change agent in the auto industry for over 26 years.

 

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